So I survived both my first and second day of teaching at Webster Elementary School on the south side of Chicago. These were the days were I was able to put to test my non-education background and last week of back to back lesson planning clinics, sessions and worksheets during Institute.
It wasn't easy and it still isn't but I'm learning and each day I come home from school with more questions than answers and more questions the next day. And even though some of these questions never get answered and the pile keeps getting bigger and bigger, I'm slowly navigating through this whole teaching profession.
The first day was rough. The second day was an improvement. The biggest feeling I get each day is feeling like I'm inadequate for my class. I have 9 sets of bright eyes staring at me for 35 minutes as I talk synonyms and parallel sentence structure at them and they are left with so many questions. While I want to run around the room, and help all of them, I can only do one at a time. I feel like I need to produce 10 of me just to be effective. I know they are learning and I know the payoff isn't instantaneous. I'm learning so much about me each day and I think my biggest realization is that you don't really need a thank you, or a big aha! moment to know you made a difference. It might take days or years, but in the end, you have made a difference and you have to trust in yourself to know that.
It's only day 3 of teaching and while I have spent some time questioning what I am doing, questioning the curriculum, questioning the what ifs about this whole experience, I had the best moment today that gave me a breath of fresh air. One of my students, a girl who usually acts out in class, came up to me when we were lining up to leave, complete with her Hannah Montana backpack and a smile on her face says "Bye, Miss Marder." and gives me a big hug.
Moments like that make the what ifs so much more bearable.
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