"I ain't here to do anything half-way, don't give a damn what anyone might say, I just wanna free fall for a while..."

Teach For America is big on "finding the right balance" and "keeping you healthy so you can do your job the best way possible." With that being said, I took the liberty of doing non-teaching related activities. This was the first weekend that I feel like I really gave Charlotte and all that comes with this new town a chance and I had so much fun. It was the best weekend I've had since I've moved here which probably makes everyone reading this happier than I am because I'm not calling you and complaining about how I miss everyone! (Don't worry- I still miss everyone the same amount, I'm just trying to build a life in this area.

After surviving our first week of school, Macie and I decided to eat massive amounts of food at Mac's BBQ for dinner. We were tired of eating our home cooked, pathetic meals and actually enjoyed a meal unlike the elementary school style of multitasking while eating and never really getting a chance to finish anything.

Saturday was spent running errands, visiting the teacher store which I swear I could spend my entire life savings there, and planning for the week ahead for school. A group of us went to a tapas and sushi restaurant in Plaza Midwood which is becoming my favorite area of Charlotte because of its eclectic feel. A few TFA CMs opened their house to pretty much all of TFA for a house party which was fun. A small group of us left and went to Mallery's house and I honestly had so much fun playing games and just hanging out with the five people that were there. My favorite part of the night was convincing Ben to take us to CookOut, an amazingly greasy fast food place that makes the best milkshakes at 1:30 am.

Sunday started our kickball league and we played a double header a park nearby. Kick For America played our hearts out but to no avail, we lost our first game 9-1 to a bunch of lawyers and narrowly lost our second game to a group of CMS teachers. It was so nice to be outside and doing something athletic because I spend most of my time indoors and am too tired at the end of the day to work out. We had a lot of fun and can't wait to play more games and hopefully actually win one!

Off to prep, plan, and sleep. Bring on week two!

A Week in Review

I made it through my first week of teaching. I'm already tired, still overwhelmed but extremely optimistic.

For the past three days, I've gone 7 hours without using the bathroom. I've eating half a turkey sandwich during my 15 minute lunch with one hand and stuffing homework folders and punching in lunch numbers with the other. I've come in early (usually around 6:45 am for a 8:30 start time and stayed on average to about 5:30 with a 2:45 end time) to feel somewhat prepared for the following days.

I have had great successes this week! I have managed to get all my students on their correct transportation every afternoon (which is one of the most difficult feats of the school day in my book.) I have BIG PLANS for my students and learned what their BIG PLANS are (a doctor for some, dog nurse or others, even just to be famous.) I've had no wet underwear if you know what I meant. I've seen only smiles and dry eyes and received a good number of hugs during the day.

My student population is largely Hispanic. Most of my student's parents speak little to no English. After the second time I sent home directions to something in their homework folder and seen the directions remain in the folder or received a note or email that says "I no speak English." I realized I needed to get everything translated that goes home. Our parent advocate is trilingual and I'm sure retreats a little bit every time she receives an email from me that says "Another translation, please!" However, I more than willing to reach out to anyone who speaks Spanish to help me translate if that means more parental involvement in the classroom.

This year will be challenging. I'm not naive in the fact that just because I have scripted curriculums that everything will be taken care of for me. I have seen my students lows already, whether that not being able to count to thirty, not being able to continue a pattern, not be able to break a word apart into syllables or even tell me what the vowels are. Little by little, I'm learning more about my students. I'm learning what they like, who they can't sit with for my sanity purposes, how many times they ask me to go to the bathroom, whether they like music playing when we do work, and what gets them excited.

Best of all, my kids make me laugh. Day two, I found myself get frustrated with the constant noise in the classroom and took the night to think about about it. My kids are six. They are little. They don't know. Everything is new to them. Everything is exciting to them and instead of stifling the discussion and their excitement, I found that I should embrace it and encourage it. If they want to count blocks out loud to themselves, great. If they want to tell me a story about something that happened to them that relates to the book we are reading, great. Participation is never an issue in my class and I praise my students every chance I get. The fireworks clap, honk honk, beep beep cheer, and the roller coaster clap are by far their favorites.

The highlight of my week had to be at the carpet this morning, while we were sharing our items im our all about me bags.

J: "I want to live in the school!"
Me: "Haha yeah?"
D: "No, I want to live with you!"
C: "Miss. Marder, you give me your phone number right now!"
K gets up from the carpet and gives me a hug, then the rest of the class proceeds to stand up out of criss cross apple sause and rush and give a class hug to me.

I love my twenty one crazy, talkative, excited, toothless kids. They have so much fun with the smallest of things. They want to grow up into something, famous for some, a model for some, doctors, dog nurses, mommys, and others. I want to help them get there but it's just one day at a a time.

The Night Before First Grade

5 weeks of Institute training, 2 weeks of Round Zero preparation, 40+ hours spent planning and setting up my classroom last week are all being put to the test at 8:30 a.m. tomorrow morning when my twenty one, bright-eyed and eager first graders walk through my door.

There's so much running through my head right now. What bus are my students riding home on? Did I get everyone's lunch number right? Where did I put my Brown Bear, Brown Bear book? Why are my lesson plans out of order? What will I say when they walk in the door?

After speaking with other corps members, fellow teachers, friends and family members, I decided that I'm not prepared. Nope. I could use another year to get my feet wet in the education field. I am unsure about centers. I have no idea how to write a referral. Where exactly IS the science lab? I may not be prepared, but I am ready. I am ready to meet my students. I am ready to talk about big goals or big plans as we call them in my class. I am ready to put everything I learned to the test. I may fail. I may suck. I may forget everything I am supposed to be doing tomorrow when I stand in front of my students. Mistakes happen and no teacher is perfect. I am ready to try. I am ready to attempt. I am ready to say proudly I am a first grade teacher- whether I succeed at most or not.

I want to say good luck to the 101 other 09 Charlotte CMs heading into the classroom tomorrow. We have been through so much together and while this whole experience seems daunting and completely overwhlemed, we have all been in this together and that won't change. We will change education in Charlotte whether people like it or not. I am so proud of all of you.

Please pray for me, send me good vibes, or just think about me tomorrow and the rest of this week. Thanks for everyone's continual support and I can't wait to share my first day experience tomorrow! I wonder who is more nervous...me or my first graders. Here are picture of my beautiful classroom for your viewing pleasure :)

Less than one week!

In 6 days, I will be the teacher of 21 six year olds. In 6 days, I will begin to teach children how to read. In 6 days, I will take everything I have learned about the education world (which, at times, doesn't seem like much) and put it to use in my own classroom.

Holy. Crap.

I wish I could even describe the whirlwind of emotions I've had lately. In short, I've been happy that the day has finally come! I'm happy I have keys to my own classroom, a great team of first grade teachers to plan with, and great supplies from my the best sister and aunt in the world. I'm overwhelmed with how much work this actually is. I'm overwhelmed by the number of things I have to juggle- considering the standard course of study, daily objectives, curriculum plans, school policies and TFA guidelines to juggle in a short 45 minute lesson. I'm exhausted from the bulletin board making, word wall cutouts and staying up to work and waking up early to do even more. I'm thrilled to meet my parents and children at open house and actually make an impact on my students' lives.

If I could share a message with those who read this little blog of mine, it would be to take the time to write a short thank you to the teachers who impacted your life. Never in a million years would I have guessed that so much heart, work, sweat, thought, and love went into this profession and being on the other side makes me realize that I took my teachers for granted. I haven't yet taught my first phonics lesson or science experiement, but I know how just how much I am going to put into those just for the sake of student achievement. And it's amazing just how selfless the job is. Teachers don't require thank yous. They get satisfaction in the fact that you can now read Hop on Pop. It takes a special type of person to be a teacher and I really want all of my teachers.

These next few days include teacher workdays where I spend my time sprucing up and decorating my classroom, meeting and planning with the grade level, and prepping for my first week as a first grade teacher.

As they say, it's the hardest job you'll ever love. Wish me luck!

Making home a little homier

For those who talked to me over the past weekend, probably heard me cry, or be negative, and just not be my normal, happy-g0-lucky self. Adjusting to a new place has been some what of a wake up call so far. It feels like college all over again, except for sharing a dorm. The putting yourself out there part is exactly the same and I hate to say it, but I had been complacent my last years in college. I had the best friends in the world and liked how things were going enough to not change.

After a few days of mopping around, I decided to take some advice of a good friend of mine:

"also, just a nugget of living on your own advice: set habits from the start. it's all about you now. and you get to set the trajectory of how you wanna live your day to day. so if that means that you go for a run every morning at 5 AM in some really cool place of Charlotte then do it. or if that means that before you go to sleep you'll fill your nothing book with some nugget of the day that changed your life. do your thing the way that we always say we are gonna do our thing but don't necessarily follow through on."

I've decided to act on this advice and my new living space, my home. Making this new town, my town. Making this new people, my friends. It's up to me. No one is going to do it for me now as much as I would like to.

So what did I do this week? I finally am 85% unpacked. I called friends and family and talked about the positives. I visited my classroom for the first time. I went for a run in my new neighborhood. As rough as those hills were to run on for the first time ever, it's about me getting used to the new normal. I spent time with my 1st grade team and planned our goals and got to know some of the girls in the same boat as me. I explored some local coffee shops and restaurants in my area. And I think I just realized, everything will come together eventually. It just takes baby steps.

So here's to setting a routine that makes me happy and adjusting my mindset on this new city of mine.

"I was running away from the only thing I've ever known..."

After one week of introductions and five weeks of lesson planning, not sleeping and dorm room living, I am finally settled into the next chapter of my life in Charlotte. It still really hasn't hit me that these streets I wander are my permanent home for the next two years. It's hard to call somewhere 'my home' after such a busy summer of traveling back and forth and living out of the multiple suitcases I've packed and unpacked.

For the one millionth time I'll say my famous phrase- it's hard. I'm living a new state where I know no one, a new house with new roommates, with a new job that has aspects so foreign to me. Really, the only things familiar are the multiple phone calls from great friends and family checking to make sure I settled in okay and the small amount of belongings from home that I could fit in my car (though my mom would beg to differ.) No one said it would be easy and I know that. I got a little homesick last night for my best friends who know me, my sisters and mom, roads I could actually navigate without the help of my GPS, and even the treehouse. I'm trying to keep my chin up and realize that new things take time to adjust to and I've never been good adapting to change but I knew what I was signing up for when I joined TFA which includes the rocky transition from everything familiar to everything completely foreign.

The next few weeks consist of constant training, big goal setting, planning (yay), online courses, and the tasky things that come with becoming a resident of a new state. On top of this, I want to find things in Charlotte that will allow me to meet people- maybe a church, a running club, match.com (kidding.) The more I work, the more excited and scared I become to step foot in my classroom in 23 short days. The fact that I my students will show up bright eyed and ready for a new year puts a smile on my face- exactly what I need right now.

Anyway, off to prepare for tomorrow. Thanks for the constant support and any advice on adjusting to a new home is greatly appreciated :)