The plus side of teaching? Always being the life of the party.

So I survived both my first and second day of teaching at Webster Elementary School on the south side of Chicago. These were the days were I was able to put to test my non-education background and last week of back to back lesson planning clinics, sessions and worksheets during Institute.

It wasn't easy and it still isn't but I'm learning and each day I come home from school with more questions than answers and more questions the next day. And even though some of these questions never get answered and the pile keeps getting bigger and bigger, I'm slowly navigating through this whole teaching profession.

The first day was rough. The second day was an improvement. The biggest feeling I get each day is feeling like I'm inadequate for my class. I have 9 sets of bright eyes staring at me for 35 minutes as I talk synonyms and parallel sentence structure at them and they are left with so many questions. While I want to run around the room, and help all of them, I can only do one at a time. I feel like I need to produce 10 of me just to be effective. I know they are learning and I know the payoff isn't instantaneous. I'm learning so much about me each day and I think my biggest realization is that you don't really need a thank you, or a big aha! moment to know you made a difference. It might take days or years, but in the end, you have made a difference and you have to trust in yourself to know that.

It's only day 3 of teaching and while I have spent some time questioning what I am doing, questioning the curriculum, questioning the what ifs about this whole experience, I had the best moment today that gave me a breath of fresh air. One of my students, a girl who usually acts out in class, came up to me when we were lining up to leave, complete with her Hannah Montana backpack and a smile on her face says "Bye, Miss Marder." and gives me a big hug.

Moments like that make the what ifs so much more bearable.

Staying Strong in the Windy City

So I've survived my first week of Institute in Chicago and it was such a roller coaster of emotion. Basically the first week consisted of waking up at 5:30am to eat breakfast, pack a lunch, say a quick hi to my friends and then head out to Webster and Melody Elementary Schools, my home away from home for the next five weeks. While there are things to complain about, my overall experience with Institute has been positive. There are certain aspects that have taken some getting used to such as the lesson planning templates, immersing yourself in 4 different curriculums, the lack of AC in the schools and just adjusting not even seeing my Charlotte friends during the day. I'm teaching 2nd grade and starting this week of with writing. It's so funny to look back at the curriculum and remember what exactly you learned when you were in second grade.

It's not easy, that's for sure. There was a point in the middle of last week when I was just asking myself, why am I here. I couldn't quite get the concept of key points, I was exhausted and I was just not used to not getting an idea or concept on the first go around. Luckily, I have a lot of positive forces around me that sent me encouraging emails, texts that made me smile and friends here reassuring the fact that we are all in this together. I have come, in my mind, so far from that moment now and I'm glad that I'm here. My turning point was actually meeting my captive 9 2nd graders who were so eager to call me "their teacher."

This weekend we had time off to explore Chicago and I love it here. We went out, we shopped on Michigan Avenue, went to a free Counting Crows concert, went on the Navy Pier ferris wheel and just enjoyed ourselves. I'm really lucky to have met such a great friends already and I don't think I could get through this experience without them. At the end of the day, even for a 15 minute dinner, I find so much comfort in sharing stories from our days.

And so begins the first day of actual teaching. I'm nervous but so excited at the same time to get my feet wet, receive (hopefully) constructive criticism, and help make a difference in my student's lives.

With that, I'll leave you with some pictures from the weekend.

Charlotte Induction

So I have just spent the last week in Charlotte and life has been pretty busy with Induction concluding tonight and I couldn't have asked for a better time. I'm exhausted, filled with questions, and so happy to have met such wonderful people and have such a great opportunity.

This past week we have learned the deeper meaning behind the achievement gap in Charlotte and how will impact one third, I repeat, one third of students in Charlotte. That number resounds in my mind about the positive impact we will have on these children's lives as we aim toward significant gains in the classroom. I am so privileged to be in the classroom here and although I am still in the dark about how I will achieve all that I want to in my classroom, I know that I have the power to do it. We have had sessions on Teach For America and AmeriCorps, the support we receive during this whole experience and have had so many opportunities to get to know the other CMs.

I'm happy to say that I have a great group of friends already up here, wonderful new roommates to fill the very big shoes of my great old roommates, and have a clearer vision of exactly why I not only want to teach but need to. I've been able to explore the Queen City and become more aquainted with the southern culture. I have an apartment which is great and is in a great area of the city and can't wait for all of you to come and visit!

One thing that I have really enjoyed this week is the diversity of thought between the CMs. We all come from such diverse backgrounds and educational areas that we all bring something different to the table. The insight that these people have is so refreshing to hear and opens my eyes to such different aspects of a single question I wouldn't have even considered. It's a very different discussion than I ever had at UCF and it's very enlightening and empowering.

With that being said, the other CMs and I take off for the Windy City on Sunday to begin Institute and honestly, I can't wait. Yes, we will be tired and I'll be slightly out of touch of reality but I can't wait to put a face behind the statistics and meet the children that I am working for.

"No parachutes or safety nets here, one foot in the water to face these fears..."

After 11.5 hours of driving, 4 stops at the reststops, 3 gas fill ups and 1 coffee toffee twisted frostee, I made it to Charlotte!

For those of you that know me, know that I truly believe in the power of music and how it has an uncanny ability to fit in the the most appropriate situations. Although it's incredibly corny, as I merged onto I-485 and caught the first glimpse of my new skyline, Natasha Bedingfield's song "Unrwritten" came on the radio. I got this inexplicable feeling as I heard the lyrics we've all heard too many times. I'm starting on a new path. This is a new town with new people and new places. Although I'll take the good ones with me in my heart, this is just a brand new experience and I am so excited and can't wait to see what this experience has in store for me. I can't wait to step foot in my classroom and meet my students and just find my place here.

Tomorrow, I begin my commitment to Teach For America. This day is finally here. After so much waiting and anticipation, I will finally meet the other Corps Members who have decided to dedicate two years of their lives to make difference in this world. I spend a week in Charlotte getting aquainted with the others, the TFA program in Charlotte, and the area through sessions and mixers and then it's off to Chicago for Institute on Sunday.

I think the hardest part so far is being way from the people who know me. It's an incredibly hard thing to move away from the familiar and step out into the world with just yourself. I have to remember that this is a huge learning process for everyone and most likely there are others in the same boat as me.

Here's to a good first week in Charlotte, my new home!

"I gotta move while my future's bright and sunny..."

And so it begins.

I've never really been one to write my feelings- in journals, on Web sites, in letters. In fact, the most truthful writing I publish takes the form of emails that I never send, but sit in the draft box of my Gmail. I have always heard, however, that blogs can be quite cathartic, a way to express everything so the entire world can read it. And as I embark on this new journey called Teach For America, I feel like that is exactly what I will need. So I hope that this blog helps you understand my mission, my dreams, my adventures and sometimes, my failures.

I've been asked the million dollar question many times: "Why are you doing Teach For America?" After visiting DC a few weeks ago and stood staring at the graves of men and women who gave their life for our country in Arlington National Cemetery, I thought about my service to our country. While I am not in the armed services, I am part of AmeriCorps, my chance to put my ideals into action and establish change in our country. While I may not be serving overseas, I may be educating the future men and women who will. Or the next President. Or the next great American writer. It is this aspect of the job that lured me in. I am doing my part to give opportunities to students who may not necessarily receive them because of their hometown.

I know that there will be plenty of time to get my dream job, explore the seven wonders of the world, and so on but this is exactly what I want to be doing right now. I owe a million thanks to those that helped get me here- a few close friends, advisors I look up to, and family members. And so begins my journey to Charlotte, NC as an elementary school teacher. After spending a week in Charlotte for my Induction and five short weeks in Chicago for my rigorous Institute training, I will be on the front line in my classroom, hopefully hitting the ground running and not just hitting the ground.

I can't wait to share my stories, pictures, adventures and new life with you all.